Sa 1st day, pag susulatin na naman tayo ng mga teachers natin kung anong ginawa natin this summer.. this time, I would write the truth and only the truth. So here's what I'll write.

I spent half of my summer, crying and trying to get over a heartless guy who shattered and broke my heart into million little pieces. And the other half of my summer, I spent begging him to stay with me.

Did you ever have your heart broken that you've reached the point where you feel suicidal? Well, that's how horrible my summer was.

I can barely sleep, I wouldn't eat. I stopped listening to what every body has to say. I'd just lay in bed all day or I'd spend at least an hour or two in the bathroom, trying to wash off the pain.

I became one of my worst fear .. I became Oblivion; The state in which I became unaware and unconscious to what is happening.

I'd wake up in the morning and I look at myself in the mirror, thinking why and how could this be then I would try to stop the tears from falling from remembering all that was happening to me, to us. Then I'd go back to bed, trying to regain what was left in me. then came the nights.

Nights are the most scariest part of the day specially when they start to get attached to the sadness you're feeling. During the nights, starting from 10 pm on wards when every one else is asleep ..

I would cry my heart out in silent as I reminisce about every thing that had happened. I always feel nostalgic at night and I never liked the idea of it.

It's painful to see yourself die while you're still alive. To break down when all you ever wanted was to build yourself up. You feel so empty without him, without him .. it's like you're nothing.

I had to admit that I almost killed myself. Why? well, because Death is an escape .. an escape from this mad, horrible world we live in.

But a part of me, wanted to stay alive .. because what if all these is just a trial? and I killed myself knowing that I can do something about it? ..

I lost my self in the process of loving him and I never found myself again. He, he completes me even though he's the one who broke me. I love him, and I hate him both at the same time.

My summer was hell-like and there had never come a day where I would be complete and utterly happy.

This summer is so far the worst summer I've ever had. And it's all because of him, all because of what he did to me.

I'm here physically but little does anyone knew that I already died a thousand deaths ever since I found out about every thing.

I don't know even know who I am anymore bc of him. I forgot what it was like to be happy, to be nothing more than happy. =)))

but life will fuck you and you just have to deal with whatever shit it is going to give you.

What I'm scared of now is if this sadness will last forever. :(