this is how i want to love

there are many poems about loving recklessly,
destroying everything in your path,
leaving your fingerprints on their soul,
leaving claw marks on their backs,
and scratches on their hearts.

like many others, i have not
been taught how to love gently,
how to give you all the love
i have without overwhelming you.

the truth is that my parents never taught
me how to love properly,
only how to leave scars.

so let me tell you this:
i want to be the one to teach your heart how to expand,
not the reason why you can’t love after me.
i want to teach you that it’s okay to let past love go,
even if it includes letting the memory of me go.

i don’t want to be the one to keep you up at night,
i want to be the one you can finally sleep
around after you’ve spent years waking up
at odd hours. i want to sleep in with you on saturday
mornings.

i want you to teach me what it’s like to stay for once.
teach me that there’s no reason i need to be running away so soon.

teach me that this is too beautiful to try sabotaging.
this is too beautiful to scar,
this is too rare to rush into.

like this, we will love passionately,
but gently and carefully.